The 17 Day Diet: Day 0

I’ve always been a bit of a fattie. Let me just get that out there. I spent most of my teenage years watching bad 90’s sitcoms wondering why I didn’t look as good as the girls on TV. Then one day, about three years ago, I had an epiphany – and by epiphany, I mean, I saw a photo of myself and the first question that came to mind was, “Holy hell, is that how I really look?” So, with all kinds of determination, I changed my eating habits, started exercising and began the long process that would eventually lead to me being 22kg lighter.

The main thing I learned from that experience was that anyone who tries to sell this weight loss idea as easy, is clearly smoking a big wad of bullshit. It’s not easy, hell, it’s not even remotely easy – especially if you’re like me and have a special connection with anything dipped in chocolate and deep fried. 

I didn’t think it was easy then, way back when I didn’t have a kid or many other adult-like responsibilities, so I could spend my money on all the healthy snacks I could muster and go to gym at any time of the day. And I sure as hell don’t think it’s easy now, with a 2-year old, and a home, and groceries to buy and a house to clean. Which is probably why I am where I am now, or perhaps, this is just me making all kinds of excuses for my general laziness of late.

It’s been just over a month since I’ve been inside a gym. I haven’t put on my running shoes in almost two months. The last time I ate a salad, by choice, was the latter part of June. In this almost two month period of general laziness, all kinds of wintery “but it’s so cold” whining and general excuse-making, I’m pretty sure I’ve managed to gain all of the weight I spent the better part of the beginning of this year trying to lose… and then some. In fact, I’m pretty sure i’m probably back to being close to the horrendous, embarassing weight I was before I started that first diet way back when. The sad thing is, I couldn’t really tell you, because I’m terrified to even get near a scale.

All of the willpower that I used to have seems to have faded into oblivion. I spend my mornings convincing myself that ‘Yes, I will definitely be at gym this evening’ and all my evenings saying “I’ll just do it tomorrow.” This can’t go on. Something must be done. So, in the spirit of being someone that finds it very difficult to say no to home shopping networks, I’m taking the plunge.

A few months ago, after stumbling across the show The Doctors on TV, I discovered The 17-day Diet. Of course, they made it sound fabulous – 17 days, agh, how amazing. So, not being very hard to convince, I bought the book, and read it… in fact, I’ve been reading it for three weeks now – all sorts of great ideas on how to lose weight quick, all being stored in my mind while I munched on cake and biscuits and chocolates. But it’s time… yes indeed.

So… I sit here now, making a promise… come Monday (one has to have one final weekend of eating as they please) I pledge to start the 17-Day Diet. If you’ve heard of it and have been wondering if it works, let me serve as your personal guinea pig. You’ve been warned… come next week, expect lots of whining. The time has come to make a change *she says munching on chocolate covered peanuts… that time is now.

Deanna Campbell

Deanna spends her days buried in a jumble of words and her nights trying to balance family life and everything in between, all while doodling the name Grohl on her notepad and watching reruns of Supernatural. If it’s on TV, she’s seen it. If it’s the latest fad diet… she’s tried it. She’s got a lot to say. Be warned.


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